boners

This is the phrase that goes through my mind when I realize how much stuff I have to do before this Friday.

Ugh, boners!

One by one, each member of our house (and the significant others of everyone in our house) have been attacked by a stomach virus. I have it right now. All I have been eating is bananas, bread, and ramen, yet my digestive system still insists on turning it all into diarrhea. I think that Mikey even has something, cause he has diarrhea, too. (lol, I heard him pooping last night, and he had audible, human-like farts accompanying his squirts. heh, gross!)

Finals week 09!!!!!!

heh

Mikey was sleeping on my computer earlier and opened up some of my AIM logs.

Here is a blurb from a conversation I forgot that I had with Abby a few months ago regarding cakefarts:

me: now I am thinking about how funny it would be if they invited her onto that show
me: ace of cakes
me: and she just farted into some cakes and ruined them
me: and that would be the big “thing” on the show
Abby: i laughed out loud
Abby: in almost a cackle to that
me: I am laughing about it
Abby: i like ace of cakes, heh
me: I am imagining it as if it’s not that big of a deal
me: like something that could possibly happen
me: and they are all just dealing with it reasonably
me: like
me: guys, how are we going to get this cake back together
Abby: hahaa
me: and cracking mild jokes about how it will taste like farts
Abby: or i mean, i imagine they’d make her a cake
Abby: or like
Abby: of like her farting on cakes
Abby: then she’d fart on that cake
me: maybe they’d build her a custom cake
me: that amplifies farts

www.cakefarts.com

soon…

I will post a real update.

For now, though, just some bullshit.

Lately I have been neglecting my personal hygeine quite a bit. I haven’t done laundry in a month, and underwear is no longer a daily requirement. Also, all of my pants have ambiguous stains and crust deposits on the thighs from meals that I have eaten in the past month or so. Some of the stains look like they could be paint (alright, they’re mustard stains), and I think that having potential paint stains on my pants makes me look kind of artsy and cool anyway, so no biggie.

 

 

…

…

So, I woke up in the middle of the night, disoriented and still kind of dreaming, to find that I was laying on my back (I never sleep like this) with my head tilted to one side, and some sort of weight on my neck and face. This weight was Mikey, who was curled up in ball mostly on my neck, but with his tiny fluffhead resting on my cheek, and purring loudly. It was pretty fuckin’ cute, but also kind of frightening. What a weirdo. I want to videotape myself sleeping for a full night just to see what kind of antics Mikey is up to on my bed.

I have SO much shit to do this week.

GURF.

World-Record Farting

My fart-count for today is probably in the hundreds. I have farted three times since I opened wordpress to start this entry. What the fuck, body? Whoa, typing that made me realize that I did eat a Fiber One bar today (I got a free sample in the mail, noiiiiice). Man! This shit can really do a number on your farting.

back home

I have just arrived (well, a few hours ago) at the STL home base, only to discover that either da whisk has become enormously obese, or a month with Mikey has completely rewired my perceptual system in terms of cat expectations. When I saw him for the first time tonight, I literally thought he was another cat that my mom let in the house or something. It was totally fucking with my brain. Then, an even deeper shock to my world occured when I reached down to pet da whisk, and felt immediately that his fur seemed incredibly dull. I would parallel this experience as a whole to coming home from school to find that your parents have divorced, your mother has remarried, and she is pregnant with your new half-brother. My mind is totally blown here. Reviewing pictures of da whisk from the past and comparing them to ones that I just took now, I am starting to realize that it really is more of my Mikey experience that is doing this to me rather than da whisk really gaining weight– though I think he has put on some pounds, just nothing drastic.

Check this out:

same old whisk?

he looks totally lardy here, to me. I feel like I am that one Norwegian dude holding that huge bunny rabbit. (Also, I am aware of the degree of double-chin in this photo.)

He is totally overwhelming!

(Norwegian guy with giant rabbit).

The idea that hanging out with Mikey for a mere month has tarnished my whisk experience is a little bit offensive to me. How can my brain do this? I accidentally called him Mikey a minute ago. I would be so upset if I was da whisk. I’m sorry, dude, I still love you!

Anyway, my overall conclusion here is that da whisk needs to lose some weight, regardless of whether or not he has already been this fat before and I just didn’t notice because I was blindly in love with him.

Why is this happening to me?

wat up doods

I don’t feel like updating my blog.

Ugh, maybe later.

y0

It’s nice the that 0 and O keys are so close to each other on the keyboard. I find that I sometimes mistype  a zero for an o, but it’s not a big deal.

Mikey

has arrived. It turns out that Mikey the kitten may be the best cat I have ever met. He’s super loafy and laid-back (he didn’t cry at all on the car ride from Iowa, and prowled around the car like it was no big deal), but he is also really into cuddling and rubbin’ faces. I could go on, but I will just let the pics explain…

sugar-loaf

lookin4cuddles

snot on snot

Is there a subtle way of extracting phlegm from your throat? I don’t think that I could be any worse at it. It sounds exceptionally gross when I do it, and kind of like I am about to die, but in addition, I am terrible at actually getting it out of my throat–it just hangs out in the back of my throat making me gag, but doesn’t come up any farther! Snot in general makes me so angry. I mean, I have orafices all over my face for a reason, why does it have to be permanently stuck in my nasal cavity? Ugh.

Also, check this out:

There is a Facebook group called “I Survived TruFlu 2009″ that is making t-shirts.

Come on. First, I think it is a little early to be claiming victory over H1N1, seeing as it is just now starting to spread on Truman’s campus–unless the group is simply claiming that they will survive the flu, which I don’t think is that sweet, and is still slightly presumptuous. Plus, campus-wide novelty shirts are lame in general. Just when I thought the “Harvard of the Midwest” t-shirts were going out of style…

Time to make a tuna sandwich.